Can I become confident if I’m shy or introverted?

Yes. Shyness and introversion aren’t flaws. Confidence is about trusting yourself and your ability to handle situations, not about being loud.

How long does it take to feel more confident?

There’s no fixed timeline. Many people notice small shifts within weeks of doing tiny bravery experiments and tracking wins. Bigger changes build over months and years.

Do I have to fake it till I make it?

You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. A gentler version is: practise it until it feels more possible – small, honest actions repeated over time.

How Do I Become More Confident?

Guide updated: December 2025

        Confidence isn’t a magic personality trait some people are born with. It’s the result of lots of small moments where you show up, try something, and prove to yourself: “I can handle this.”
      

Step 1: Define what “confident” looks like for you

“Be more confident” is vague, which makes it hard to act on. Get specific instead. When you picture a more confident version of you, what are they actually doing?

Speaking up once in a meeting instead of staying silent?
Starting a conversation at an event?
Setting a boundary without apologising for existing?
Ordering food, making phone calls, asking for help?

Write down 3–5 behaviours that would make you say “I was confident there.” That’s your target.

Step 2: Separate confidence from being loud

Many people confuse confidence with volume. Quiet, steady confidence is just as real as bold, high-energy confidence.

You can be confident and introverted.
You can be confident and still dislike big crowds.
You can be confident and still get nervous sometimes.

Your goal isn’t to become someone else; it’s to feel more solid as yourself.

Step 3: Build an “evidence list”

Your nervous system believes what you repeat. Start collecting evidence that you can handle things:

Did something even though you felt nervous.
Spoke up when it would’ve been easier to stay quiet.
Were kinder to yourself than usual after a mistake.

These might look tiny: “Asked a question in class”, “Told the barista my order clearly”, “Sent the email I was avoiding.” That’s fine. Confidence is built from many small “I did it” moments.

Step 4: Try “tiny bravery” experiments

Instead of waiting to feel confident before you act, act in small ways and let confidence catch up.

Examples of tiny bravery:

Ask one question in a meeting or group chat.
Compliment someone’s jacket, shoes or mug.
Tell a friend “I’m not up for that today” without a long excuse.
Share a small honest opinion instead of just agreeing.

Each experiment tells your brain: “I can survive this.”

Step 5: Change how you talk to yourself

Confidence is affected by the voice in your head. Notice harsh statements like:

“I always mess this up.”
“I’m terrible with people.”
“I’m so awkward, why do I even try?”

Try switching “I am” to “I’m learning…”

“I’m learning to handle this better.”
“I’m practising talking to people.”
“I’m awkward sometimes, but I’m still showing up.”

Step 6: Practise conversations in a safe space

A lot of “confidence” shows up in how you handle conversations: speaking up, saying no, asking for what you need. Practising these situations ahead of time makes them feel less overwhelming.

SpringSocial is a social practice app with 135+ realistic scenarios – work, friendships, family and everyday moments.

You read a situation and choose how you’d respond.
You see how it might play out.
You learn what your response could signal and why some options land more clearly.

To try it: search “SpringSocial” on the App Store or visit SpringSocial.app.

This guide is for general information only and is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice.