How long does it take to get better at socializing?

It depends where you’re starting and how often you practise. Many people notice small shifts within a few weeks of regular, low-pressure interactions.

Do I have to become an extrovert?

No. You can improve social skills and still prefer quiet, one-on-one or structured situations. The aim is to have more choice, not to change your personality.

What if I say something awkward?

Everyone does. The goal isn’t zero awkwardness; it’s being able to recover. A simple “sorry, that came out weird” or “I’m a bit nervous” is usually enough.

How Do I Get Better at Socializing?

Guide updated: December 2025

        Short version: getting better at socializing isn’t about becoming a different person. It’s about practising a few small, repeatable skills until they feel less scary and more natural.
      

What does “better at socializing” actually mean?

When people say they want to be better at socializing, they usually mean things like:

Feeling less frozen or awkward around others.
Knowing how to start and end conversations without overthinking.
Keeping a chat going without painful silences.
Not replaying every word for hours afterwards.

You don’t have to become loud or extroverted. You just need a few reliable tools you can use in the social situations that matter to you.

Step 1: Start with low-pressure interactions

Don’t begin with a massive party or networking event. Instead, practise where the stakes are tiny:

Say a clear “hi” and “thanks” to baristas, cashiers or reception staff.
Add one extra sentence when you order: “Flat white please… how’s your day going?”
Make a neutral comment: “It’s been so busy this morning”, “The weather’s wild lately.”

These micro-reps help your brain learn that talking to people doesn’t always end badly.

Step 2: Use curiosity instead of performance

A lot of social anxiety comes from thinking “Am I interesting enough?” Try flipping it:

From “Do they like me?” to “What can I learn about them?”
From “I need the perfect line” to “I just need one simple question.”

When you’re curious, you don’t have to be clever. You just have to notice and ask.

Step 3: Use a simple conversation pattern

When your mind goes blank, a basic pattern helps. One option is:

Notice → Ask → Share

Notice: “I see you’ve got a gaming laptop.”
Ask: “What do you usually play?”
Share: “I’m terrible at shooters but I love cozy games.”

At work it might be:

Notice: “That meeting looked full-on.”
Ask: “What’s the biggest thing on your plate right now?”
Share: “I’m juggling a couple of deadlines too, it’s a lot.”

Step 4: Make a tiny weekly practice plan

You don’t need a big reinvention. A small, consistent plan beats a one-off push:

Pick one place: coffee shop, gym, class, workplace kitchen.
Commit to initiating one short interaction there on each visit.
Afterwards, quickly note what felt okay and what you’d try differently next time.

Your goal is not “be amazing” – it’s “build familiarity so this stops feeling dangerous.”

How SpringSocial can help you practise

If real-life practice feels overwhelming, you can warm up by rehearsing situations privately first.

SpringSocial is an educational social practice app with 135+ realistic scenarios – work, friendships, family and everyday life.

You read a situation and choose how you’d respond.
You see what might happen next.
You get clear explanations of what your choice might signal and why some options land better than others.

To try it: search “SpringSocial” on the App Store or visit SpringSocial.app.

This guide is for general information only and is not a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice.